We all hold on to some kind of emotion that we carry like insurance, something that we pull out as an excuse. Do you have one general excuse that you often use? Something to excuse self – such as must take care of children, somebody has to do the dishes, somebody has to go to work, I’m too busy, I’m tired, childhood abuse, horrifying first marriage, second grade girls say I’m not looking good. We have so much lack of self-confidence and then we try to find a reason for it. That’s one symptom.
Another thing humans do is fantasy: when they have problem we try to go to the opposite side and say they don’t. Do you know why some boys and some girls are so challenged to find a right partner? They can’t seem to trust anyone so they frequently change girl friend and boy friend. Female compare and put down other females. Males put down others on intellectual strength. Females compare and judge sexiness (feminine side) or success (stronger females); clothes, bodies, etc. Humans desire to keep youth and stay sexy.
Try to learn what we as humans often do or often perform. From philosophical spooky perspective that is very pathetic. Because then we lose track of life journey goal. Instead of focusing, you are fighting other people and lose track of why you live. The crane stands alone among all the rooster and chicken. You are the crane. That has to be such a lousy and boring crane. The dragon is meant to fly in the sky, the warrior is meant to go to the battlefield. You don’t want to compete about who’s taller right under the table. The world is much bigger out there. More unknown and challenges waiting out there. We are more special. Go out and meet the challenges. Prove to yourself that you are special. It is only the rooster and chicken that you compare yourself to. Go stand among the cranes if you want to compare yourself.
We are always searching for people not as good, to make us feel more valuable. Don’t compare yourself to others who are not your peers. When you are a dragon go to the big ocean, don’t play in a little lake, Do you have the vision that you can have the whole ocean to swim in? Take your vision out of your house. You don’t need to fight with your little circle – or little community. See Chuang Tsu chapter 1. The story of Kun Peng the big bird. He is actually describing the Yuan Shen and how powerful and free it is. Do not sidetrack yourself into a little box and fighting. Don’t play ping pong under the table because you know you cannot get taller than the table and your ability has been completely limited. The worst thing is that you see yourself as very powerful because you see a little sky. There is a story about “The Frog at the Bottom of the Well” where a frog is at the bottom of the well and see the opening at the top of the well as the entire sky.
Don’t limit the size of your vision and your ability to fly and always understand that your intelligence and your vision have limitation. “Always Know Your Own Limitations”. Never try to pretend you’re good at something that you’re not good at. Some people so vigorously guard their weakness. The strong human is the one who is always willing to admit their weakness. Always be nice, compliment and be willing not to be the best at those things you are weak at. On the flip side don’t give false compliments because you will lose that person’s respect. Admit what you don’t know and be humble.
Once you lower yourself and lower your guard then the opportunity to learn is created. The door opens for the learner. Do not be afraid to tell jokes about yourself, do not be afraid to show your weakness. If others laugh at you then they have bigger issues to clean up for themselves, if that happens then you can walk away. Your weakness can also be your biggest strength – allowing it can create great strength. It is wisdom.